The Big Finish

Since I ran my first half marathon in 2010, I've learned to enjoy running.  This isn't something I have ever enjoyed before, mind you.  In fact, I had never run more than a mile at one time in my entire life, but after mile 2, 3, 4 you start to become accustomed to the relationship of the wind in your face, the road beneath you, and the paced breathing going on in your lungs.  Breath in, and out, in and out.  There was a point in my running 'career' when I was so well acquainted with the distance I was running that I didn't need to measure it anymore.  I knew when I had a run a mile.  I knew the feeling, the amount of time, and the sweat it cost to run that distance.  Of course, I usually confirmed my distance with a mileage counter, but most of the time I really didn't need to.

Once the half marathon was over, I was feeling pretty accomplished.  I had really stretched myself and done something I could be proud of, for years to come.  So I rewarded myself with a break, but there is no such thing as a break when it comes to discipline...not really.  Before I knew it, with the exception of the occasional run here and there, I stopped running altogether.  Even now, I am sitting here thinking that I should be hitting that pavement, but I digress.

I recently signed up and trained for a 5K.  Having run 13.1 miles in the past, I thought I was pretty much in the clear, no big deal.  So I started training a couple of weeks before the race, not bothering to check my mileage because I had mapped out a mile on the course I was running a couple of years ago.  Plus I was confident in my ability to internally gauge a mile's distance(even though I hadn't run in a while).  So I started increasing my mileage, using the mile marker I had set up as a guide.  As I went along, it was 1 mile the first day, then 1.5 the second, 2 the third and so on.  The last training day before the race, I decided to turn on my Nike+ mileage app on my phone, to record my time during my run.  I started running and as I approached the mile marker that I had been running to for the past few weeks, I noticed that my phone wasn't saying anything.  Now, the app lets you know when you've run a full mile by a robotic voice calling out "1 mile complete, X miles left to go."  With no call out, I thought, 'something must be wrong.'  So I pulled out my phone and sure enough, it told me that I was still 0.03 miles away from completing a full mile.  Now, I know you are probably thinking, 'that's not that big of a deal,' but it actually is and let me tell you why.  A 5K is 3.11 miles and so being off by 0.03 per mile, means that I was actually off by almost 0.1 miles total.  If you have ever run a race that is 3.1 or 13.1, you know that the last 0.1 of the race is the most difficult.  It's the part of the race that can trip you up.  I know, because I didn't train for the last 0.1 mile the first time and let me tell you what, after you have run 13 miles, all you want to do is sit down, but you can't because you still have 0.1 miles to go and if you want to finish strong (especially since all of the people watching your race congregate at the finish line), that's the most important part of the race!

My running experience can be likened to our walk with the Lord.  You see, the way I set myself up for training was faulty.  Instead of making sure that the course I had set out for myself was a true mile, I went by my interpretation of what it felt like to run a mile.  It was faulty because it was based on my experience, on my recollection of my past, and on my feelings.  In church leadership I think a lot of times we are doing the same thing.  We know something so well, or have done it for so long that we forget or just don't stop to check ourselves and reevaluate if whether the guide we're using, is actually on point or not.  I'm not talking about being perfect, because none of us are, but I am talking about perfecting your complete dependence on the Lord.  You see, even just missing the mark by a small amount can add up over time.  And what is the mark?  Doing it God's way.  One day we're doing things the way we feel that God has shown us to do them, and instead of consistently checking in with God, before you know it, we've made God into a formula.    When we input A, God outputs B, and we don't like that messed with.  Well, God works by laws, absolutely, but we cannot even dream of understanding to the full, the laws that govern God.  Sometimes God wants us to input B so He can output C but you can only know that if you are depending on Him for your course direction.  He doesn't want us to run according to what we know, that's the whole point.  We must continually draw near to His heart to find out His road map.  Mile markers aren't the same in the spiritual realm as they are on earth because they aren't measuring literal distance as we understand it.  They are measuring whether or not the plan that God has for our lives is coming to pass.  When we set up our own distance goals, we may not be getting as far as we think we are.  God's our mileage counter: the ultimate truth about the spiritual distance we are logging.

As a Christian, we are constantly growing in His likeness.  Doesn't it then make perfect sense that God would reveal new ideas and ways of doing things?  It's like the children of Israel in the wilderness.  There's a reason that God told them not to keep the manna from the day before. Yesterday's manna was for yesterday.  Today's manna is for today.  What does God want to give us today?  Especially as church leaders, our methods of doing things change because the people we are doing them with change.  Even if you've worked side-by-side with a person for 50 years, that person is changing and growing.  We can't keep doing what we've always done.  God has a word for this hour, for this time, for this season.  He knew what this season would look like before you were even a thought, and He provided for you way back then.  He put people in place and plans into motion for today long before you even knew you'd be here.  He is God, after all.

God wants to mess with your mile markers so you can finish strong.  God's plan is not based on our knowledge of the plan, but our dependence on the one who formulated the plan.  When we've done something for God, it's not the end, it's the beginning.  We have to go back and reevaluate, recheck, and reorganize with God.  Our past does not have to be our future and God has the perfect training regimen to help you finish strong in your race!

The Perfect Gift

It was a couple of days before Christmas and my bags were packed to move from Alaska back to the East Coast.  I had been living there for a year and was rooming with 2 of what had become my very good girl friends. We were living in a 2 bedroom condo, so 2 of us (Tifiny and I) had to share a room that we divided down the middle (which worked out surprisingly well since my roomies and I got along really well).  It was a very emotional time for me, having made lifelong friendships with people that I now had to leave.  As we chatted and took turns opening up each other's gifts, I unwrapped the gift from Tifiny.  I took one look at what was inside the package and immediately my eyes welled up with uncontrollable tears.  It was the perfect gift.  What was it?  An alarm clock and a calendar. Wah wah wah....

You may be thinking (like my other roommate, Jenn) that this gift was as impersonal as the day is long, but quite the opposite was true.  You see, everyday for work, Tifiny would wake me up (inadvertently) by turning on the lights in the bathroom connected to our shared room.  She was so consistent that after a while I got rid of my alarm clock and just went by 'Tifiny time.'  It got to the point that I had even joked with her that I was nervous about ever moving because I'd have to search for another 'snoozeless alarm clock' that was as reliable as she was!  So, when I opened the package, I knew what she was communicating to me through it.  The gift was tailor-made for me in such an intimate way.  Tif knew me and she figured out what would speak to my heart and that is exactly what it did.  

The Lord reminded me of this story last night while I was in prayer.  You see, when birthdays or holidays come around, I try to think about what the person I'm giving to would want to receive   I'll be honest though, sometimes I just go and pick out something ten minutes before I am going to give the person the gift, or I'll even wrap up something I'd like and present that to them.  What's interesting about this is that for a while, this is ok.  When you aren't very familiar with someone or what they like, you have to kind of go with what you know or with what they've asked for.  As you begin to develop a deeper relationship with them though, this behavior becomes less tolerable and starts to be viewed as selfish...which is what it is.

Many times we come before the Lord with a similar attitude.  We first get saved and we don't know very much about God, so we just bring Him what we have and He loves it because that's where we are.  Then you start to develop your relationship with Him and you start to see there are things He asks for in His Word.  So you begin to not only give what you have, but bring what He asks for.  This is the equivalent of being in a relationship with someone for a while and every time their birthday comes around, you ask for a list of what they want.  It's great to start off with, but if you always ask for what the person wants, there's no effort in it from you.  It's easy, quick, and if we're not careful, eventually turns into laziness.

God, like any person in a relationship, wants you to find out who He is.  He wants you to spend time learning about His ways, what He likes, what He doesn't like, and believe it or not it's not all spelled out in the Bible.  The Bible is written in a mysterious manner.  That's part of what's so great about it.  It's living and therefore organic in nature, meaning it grows.  Once you get it inside of you, the Holy Spirit begins to cultivate it and shows you revelation about what the Word says and how it's applied.  That's where God is pleased.  That's where He draws you to Himself, where He invites you to come away with Him. (Song of Solomon 2:10)

Once we've gotten to that level of intimacy with God, we can begin to know the person of God.  The 'who' instead of the 'what', if you will.  That's when we can give God the thing that pleases Him instead of just pleasing ourselves.  Just like in my story with my roommate, Tifiny had gotten to a place where she knew who I was and what would speak to me, even if I didn't.  Her gift was about me, not about her.  It was about the receiver, not the giver.

When we offer ourselves to God, it should cost us something.  God is not a charity; He does not need your donation.  He is after your heart.  Why does God say He loves a cheerful giver?  Because you should be happy to part with your money and if you're not, you're in sin?  No.  God doesn't care about your money, He wants your heart. This thing called a relationship with God is a labor of love.  God wants us to love Him so much that we bring Him our money, our praise, our time, or whatever will make Him happy.  God wants these things not because of what they are, but because of what they represent...our heart.

It's laziness to come to church and just sing the songs for what you can get out of them.  The Bible says that God requires a sacrifice of praise (Heb 13:15).  It's our basic, due diligence to praise the God who created the Heavens and the earth, who orchestrated the stars, yet still cares enough to make sure you feel loved.  He deserves praise and that's just the starting point.  It's laziness to come to church and just give your tithe.  Ask Him what He wants you to give above and beyond what is written in the Word.  It's laziness to assume that God is just happy all the time with where you are in life.  Ask Him.  Spend time learning His ways and His heart.  He wants to show you how to grow in your relationship with Him.

I'll end with this.  Possibly my favorite book in the Bible is Song of Solomon.  It is such a beautiful display of how God loves us, how He wants us.  I challenge you to read that book over and over until you understand the love of our awesome God.  Search for Him, reach for Him, long for Him, and you will find a relationship like you've never known before.  I promise!

The Way Church Was Meant To Be

Anyone who has ever been to a church service knows the routine.  You show up to church about 5 minutes before the start, park your car as close to the front as you can get, walk in, exchange quick but pleasant banter with 1-2 greeters, find your seat quickly, the show is about to start!  The stage fills almost magically with the best talent around.  Guitars, drums, pianos, and heavenly voices: they're all there.  One fast song from the latest and greatest Christian pop group, followed by two slow songs which are mentally stimulating and emotionally stroking all at the same time: check.  Now the speaker.  A sharply dressed man walks onto the stage and delivers the most dramatic performance of your life, while referencing different scriptures that back what he is saying and never once does he say something you don't agree with.  You're moved to tears and laughter all right before the closing song, which you use as your time to exit the building smiling and waving at a few people you recognize.  Ahhhh....you leave feeling good about the service and yourself for the week, saying to yourself, 'now this is the way church was meant to be.'  But was it?!

Now, I am not condemning people who participate in church services.  I'm a big part of our church services and by all means, we need to have a regular place people can meet to fellowship, have communion, and get saved.  What I am addressing is why we do what we do.  When did the above mentioned template become the church standard in America?  Church is not supposed to be a place where you come and 'enjoy the show.'  That's lazy and quite frankly, it does nothing for your spiritual growth, the real church, or the Kingdom of God.  The real church is you and me, my friend.  Church is the gathering together of people who love Jesus and love each other (notice I didn't say anything about 'liking' each other) and are unified around the same purpose: salvation.

Sometimes I think that small groups are actually a better representation of church than big services are.  In Acts, they had accountability.  Ooooohhh....I just said the word we don't speak of.  Well let's start speaking about it.  What is true accountability?  You tell me your sins and I beat you over the head with scriptures about why you are wrong and what I think you should do?  No, that's control.  Biblical accountability is being responsible to someone else, allowing yourself to get close enough to another human being to know what's going on in their lives.  It's spending time in prayer for another person, encouraging them along the way, and yes, bringing up scripture to them when they need it.  If we never get close enough to another person to develop this relationship, we're not really being the church, are we?  We're being 'Me Monsters', saying things like:  "I don't have time to talk to others because Sundays are my only days off," and "I choose a church based on if my spiritual needs are getting met."  Church is not about YOU or ME!  It's about WE.  You are only one person and can only see as far as where you've been (and for most of us, that isn't much farther than our own state or country.)  That's why God gave us the provision of the church, so we wouldn't be condemned to only seeing from 1 person's vantage point.  Thank God! 

You see, you actually aren't a very good judge of whether or not your church is a good one for you.  The Apostle, Paul says:

As for me, it matters very little how I might be evaluated by you or by any human authority. I don’t even trust my own judgment on this point. My conscience is clear, but that doesn’t prove I’m right. It is the Lord himself who will examine me and decide.        I Cor. 4:3-4

If the Apostle Paul, who paid an enormous price to see the fullness of his ministry the way he did, isn't qualified to judge whether he's right by his own conscience, than how can we?  My point here is that your conscience is not how you navigate your life.  God's voice and His Word are how you navigate your life.

So then, how should we chose a church?  WE don't.  GOD does.  If you are saved, then you have the Holy Spirit living inside of you.  He'll tell you where to go and I can almost guarantee that wherever you go, at some point, will be difficult for you to stay.  Not because you're called to be a martyr, but because where God wants to bring you, will be a place where you will experience growing pains.  You're going to be pushed to what you think your limits are, because again, you likely don't know what your true limits actually are.  God does though, and He won't give you more than you can handle.  He will give you the opportunity, however, to rise to your own potential. Who better to do it than the One who created your potential in the first place?!

If we want to get down to brass tacks here, emotions are what guide most of us.  For instance, you like this person or that person, so you befriend them.  You feel stressed so you take a vacation.  You want something sweet so you eat a whole box of Twinkies.  These are obviously natural things we deal with, but the point is clear that emotions/feelings drive us to action.  The reason the Lord says so many 'different' things to different people is not because God is bipolar, and shame on us for making Him appear that way.  It's because we think whatever's talking loudest at the moment of our decision, is God.  That's just not the case.  I'm not saying God couldn't be talking loudly to you in your struggle, He's a God of grace.  What I am saying is that your emotions are loud too.  Jesus taught us that 'the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.' 

Emotions are not to be ignored, but they are to be put in check.  We recognize this principle in the natural world.  In that world, unchecked emotions could make you do things like quit your job after a bad day, punch a hole in your wall because you are angry, not change out of your pajamas for 3 days because you are sad, etc.  It's the same way with God.  Let Him check your feelings and sift out what is you and what is Him.  Hint: the 'feelings' that make it through the sifting process will line up with the fruit of the Spirit as laid out in your Bible: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.  It's not that we will 'feel' self-control, it's that when we 'feel' anxiety or chaos, we swap God for His self-control.  It's the same way when you diet.  At first, you crave sweets and you have to starve yourself of them and it's hard.  But gradually, as time goes on, you begin to crave things that are good for your body like salads and vegetables.  Your feelings change.   You take on the nature of a healthy person.  That's the way we are to put on God's nature.  Starve ourselves of pouting, sadness, bitterness, etc., and let God give us the 'feeling' of joy.

This is where the rubber meets the road.  You are called to live a life of trusting God, not your feelings.  He was faithful to pull you out of your own personal hell and bring you into the Kingdom of Heaven, so you know that He won't let you down now.  He's got a purpose for you, one that is bigger than what you can dream of.  So let Him place you where you're supposed to be.  Seek Him for the answer and He will answer you.

I encourage you today that if you don't know if you're in the right place, do some serious business with God.  Ask Him where He is not the lord over your life.  Ask Him where your emotions or feelings have led you astray and pray for the strength and wisdom to make the right decisions in the future.  God is on your side and He is here to help, so utilize Him!