It was a couple of days before Christmas and my bags were packed to move from Alaska back to the East Coast. I had been living there for a year and was rooming with 2 of what had become my very good girl friends. We were living in a 2 bedroom condo, so 2 of us (Tifiny and I) had to share a room that we divided down the middle (which worked out surprisingly well since my roomies and I got along really well). It was a very emotional time for me, having made lifelong friendships with people that I now had to leave. As we chatted and took turns opening up each other's gifts, I unwrapped the gift from Tifiny. I took one look at what was inside the package and immediately my eyes welled up with uncontrollable tears. It was the perfect gift. What was it? An alarm clock and a calendar. Wah wah wah....
You may be thinking (like my other roommate, Jenn) that this gift was as impersonal as the day is long, but quite the opposite was true. You see, everyday for work, Tifiny would wake me up (inadvertently) by turning on the lights in the bathroom connected to our shared room. She was so consistent that after a while I got rid of my alarm clock and just went by 'Tifiny time.' It got to the point that I had even joked with her that I was nervous about ever moving because I'd have to search for another 'snoozeless alarm clock' that was as reliable as she was! So, when I opened the package, I knew what she was communicating to me through it. The gift was tailor-made for me in such an intimate way. Tif knew me and she figured out what would speak to my heart and that is exactly what it did.
The Lord reminded me of this story last night while I was in prayer. You see, when birthdays or holidays come around, I try to think about what the person I'm giving to would want to receive I'll be honest though, sometimes I just go and pick out something ten minutes before I am going to give the person the gift, or I'll even wrap up something I'd like and present that to them. What's interesting about this is that for a while, this is ok. When you aren't very familiar with someone or what they like, you have to kind of go with what you know or with what they've asked for. As you begin to develop a deeper relationship with them though, this behavior becomes less tolerable and starts to be viewed as selfish...which is what it is.
Many times we come before the Lord with a similar attitude. We first get saved and we don't know very much about God, so we just bring Him what we have and He loves it because that's where we are. Then you start to develop your relationship with Him and you start to see there are things He asks for in His Word. So you begin to not only give what you have, but bring what He asks for. This is the equivalent of being in a relationship with someone for a while and every time their birthday comes around, you ask for a list of what they want. It's great to start off with, but if you always ask for what the person wants, there's no effort in it from you. It's easy, quick, and if we're not careful, eventually turns into laziness.
God, like any person in a relationship, wants you to find out who He is. He wants you to spend time learning about His ways, what He likes, what He doesn't like, and believe it or not it's not all spelled out in the Bible. The Bible is written in a mysterious manner. That's part of what's so great about it. It's living and therefore organic in nature, meaning it grows. Once you get it inside of you, the Holy Spirit begins to cultivate it and shows you revelation about what the Word says and how it's applied. That's where God is pleased. That's where He draws you to Himself, where He invites you to come away with Him. (Song of Solomon 2:10)
Once we've gotten to that level of intimacy with God, we can begin to know the person of God. The 'who' instead of the 'what', if you will. That's when we can give God the thing that pleases Him instead of just pleasing ourselves. Just like in my story with my roommate, Tifiny had gotten to a place where she knew who I was and what would speak to me, even if I didn't. Her gift was about me, not about her. It was about the receiver, not the giver.
When we offer ourselves to God, it should cost us something. God is not a charity; He does not need your donation. He is after your heart. Why does God say He loves a cheerful giver? Because you should be happy to part with your money and if you're not, you're in sin? No. God doesn't care about your money, He wants your heart. This thing called a relationship with God is a labor of love. God wants us to love Him so much that we bring Him our money, our praise, our time, or whatever will make Him happy. God wants these things not because of what they are, but because of what they represent...our heart.
It's laziness to come to church and just sing the songs for what you can get out of them. The Bible says that God requires a sacrifice of praise (Heb 13:15). It's our basic, due diligence to praise the God who created the Heavens and the earth, who orchestrated the stars, yet still cares enough to make sure you feel loved. He deserves praise and that's just the starting point. It's laziness to come to church and just give your tithe. Ask Him what He wants you to give above and beyond what is written in the Word. It's laziness to assume that God is just happy all the time with where you are in life. Ask Him. Spend time learning His ways and His heart. He wants to show you how to grow in your relationship with Him.
I'll end with this. Possibly my favorite book in the Bible is Song of Solomon. It is such a beautiful display of how God loves us, how He wants us. I challenge you to read that book over and over until you understand the love of our awesome God. Search for Him, reach for Him, long for Him, and you will find a relationship like you've never known before. I promise!
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